I have a problem
I hate doings things I’m scared to do
The burden to continue on the same path I tried to start on is too much to handle
I’ve always struggled with filling out the first few pages of my notebook, I often skip the first page and try my best to fill out the other pages with as much effort and time. I often do so, so that when I or anyone else opens my notebook, diary or journal their first impression is the right one. The reader’s impression must be the one I crafted with precision and style.
That causes an irrational amount of pressure I put on myself to be perfect the first time. Despite understanding the fact that I won’t get it right the first time, I can’t just not care about it; I care about it so much that even when I’m creating something for myself I almost don’t want to start because it will be bad or that I may not be able to keep up with the expectations I set up.
How did I start doing stuff without fear?
One thing I picked up from playing Tetris is that
Whenever you break a habit just set the counter to zero and start again
If you haven’t exercised in last 3 months because you weren’t able to consistently exercise for more than a few days, set the counter to zero and start again.
If you want to read huge books but lose motivation 30 pages in, take a break and set the counter to zero and start again.
Because you will always outdo yourself by getting higher points than you did before and because a part of you knows that you’re capable of doing things consistently and succeed.
Tldr:
1) Don’t judge yourself too much and just get started
2) If you stopped doing something you want to do now, set the timer to zero and start again
I don’t have the answers for all your questions. What I can assure you is that this has worked for me, and this was what I needed to hear.
How did this work for me?
Recently I started writing on a notebook and I finally filled the first page, I immediately regretted writing anything, I crossed out multiple words and sentences on almost every line , the thoughts didn’t make much sense together, it felt like multiple different people talking over each other. But I found myself writing a sentence, a sentence I still feel immense joy looking at, at the end of the page, I wrote
“I’ll always be happy I tried”
And that has made all the difference